Wednesday

So this morning my friend Jillian woke up thinking it was Thursday. Don't we all just hate that? You wake up and for a moment, you've gotten rid of a pesky work day and then you realize your sleepy mind was just playing tricks on you! UGH. The worst is when you wake up thinking it's Saturday and you realize it's Friday and you have one work day left! what despair!

In general my days are broken into two halves, the work half and the rest. I think most people live this way (cramming two days into every one) whether they realize it or not. So Wednesday is just the middle, it's nothing too exciting except for the fact that we made it through dreaded Monday and (in my house) Selectman Tuesday - which means the second half of my day is devoid of my husband due to his civic duties.

I find it funny how we build these 'clocks' into our lives. On Wednesday my mind knows that tomorrow I have to gear up to look at my finances again because Jay gets paid on Thursday so I have to allocate funds to different accounts for different bill paying activities. The same is true on Thursday for Friday because that's the day I get paid. By the time I'm done with my many weekday chores I've had no time at all to dream about the possibilities of what I could do with my two free days off. Is it any wonder our days and weeks and months and years fly by when we're so consumed with everything it is we have to DO? I'm not sure how I'm supposed to cultivate who I really AM while I'm busy with life's chores. I'm sure that if I don't do that then I'll end up like my garden, full of weeds trying to seek out and nurture the barely visible edible fruits of my labors.

To make matters worse, my 'daily' clock has all of the ambition built into the top of the day so by the time I get to my own personal time (after work)I have zero ambition so I get very little done. Of course this means more chores on my two free days of the week! How FRUSTRATING! The thing that perplexes me about it all is that I'm a very organized person so I don't know why I'm so challenged with using my time (in the evenings in particular) better than I do. Recently I turned off my cable service in an attempt to make better use of my time and so far all it's done is heat up my DVD player. UGH. Maybe my evening laziness is my way of rebelling against the necessity of having to go to work every day, who knows? What I do know is that something magical happens when I sleep and every morning when I wake up I'm spiritually and mentally energized and ready to take on all of the challenges today that I failed to fulfill yesterday. Someday maybe I'll fall out of this silly loop but then I'll probably just fall into another silly loop!